When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
