Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Found your dick twin last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
