He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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