Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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