you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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