i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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