Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
