thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
