Michael Bay diarrhea
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
