How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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