i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
