Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
