He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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