is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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