was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
