Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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