he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
