Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
