But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
