I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
