God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
