I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
