bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
