I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
