Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
