im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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