I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
