"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
