I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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