I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
