Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Green mimosas i think yes
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
