weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
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