We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
