Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You ruined the universe
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
