went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I met the friendliest cop last night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
