a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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