they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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