THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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