Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have post one night stand depression
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