babies were throwing up all over the place
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
