I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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