oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't deserve a penis
third nipple confirmed
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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