I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it's like iHOP with fire
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
