So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
