Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
