Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
