I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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