if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
