wat bout pragnant strippers??
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
