Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
